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Giving someone the hot shoulder: Omosophilia and the naming of a new paraphilia

While researching previous blogs on sexual piggybacking and ‘lift and carry’ fetishism, I noticed that when the words ‘shoulder’ and ‘fetish’ were in the same Google search, I came across a number of discussion sites where people were discussing their fetishes for shoulders. Here are a few of the cases that I came across:

  • Extract 1 (male): “I’ve never been into women wearing make-up, loads of perfume, and all that jazz, but for some reason, seeing the bare shoulders of a woman really makes me excited. Not that I want to have sex with the shoulders, but that they simply look hot, sort of like the way most men view breasts. Is this normal, psychologically?”
  • Extract 2 (male): “I love a woman’s exposed shoulders. I’m very attracted to them, my major turn on. I love how they look [and] how they feel. Talking about their shoulders really turns me on”
  • Extract 3 (male): “I also get turned on by the sight of a woman’s bare shoulders. That is why I love to see women in tank tops, halter tops, sleeveless tops, and off-the-shoulder tops (my favorite)”
  • Extract 4 (male): “Broad shoulders are a pretty common turn on for women anyway”.
  • Extract 5 (male): I’m not into panties, lingerie, or wearing make up, but I’ve always had an attraction to sexy female tops. I have always had a fetish about seeing a woman’s bare shoulders and got off many times fantasizing about them. Not taking it a step further, I’ve always loved wearing female sleeveless blouses and tops. I know they make tank tops for guys, but it’s not the same thrill as wearing a woman’s black, sleeveless, turtleneck jersey. I also enjoy wearing halter tops, tube tops, camies, one-shoulder tanks, and leotards, which I wear openly at the gym. I never feel as liberated as when I’m out in public with my shoulders bare. I’ve never met anyone else who’s into this with whom I could share my fantasy. But I would like to hear from anybody who is, be it man or woman, who may also have this fetish”
  • Extract 6 (male): “I have a fetish of girls sitting on my shoulders…I’ve loved this ever since I can remember…even before I knew what sex was. I have a female friend, and one time me, her, and one of her friends were walking through a field at night, and her friend said she was afraid of getting ticks and asked to sit on my shoulders. I lifted her up, and after awhile she started like bossing me around, telling me where to stand, etc…I enjoyed this. Is this fetish healthy? Sometimes I wonder if I let people push me around in life because of this fetish”
  • Extract 7 (male): I find a sexual partner’s shoulders really arousing, on both men and women. Am I in the minority or is it pretty normal?”
  • Extract 8 (male): This will probably sound strange, but I have a shoulder fetish. A beautiful girl, in a cute pose, with her shoulder exposed, absolutely makes my heart race”

Admittedly, there is little detail in these extracts and I have no way of knowing to what extent any of the extracts I have selected are truthful (although I have no reason to suspect anyone was lying). As there is little detail here, there was almost nothing on how the interest developed apart from Extract 6 where the interest in shoulders was more to do with the act of a female sitting on his shoulders rather than fetishizing the shoulders themselves. Here, the fetish (if it really is a fetish) is more akin to ‘lift and carry’ fetishes with overtones of sexual masochism (i.e., being bossed around by a female and getting a sexual thrill from it).

All of the extracts were from males (presumably heterosexual apart from Extract 5 who may be bisexual and/or a transvestite based on the small amount of information provided). Although I could reasonably conclude that shoulder fetishes are primarily male-based, I did deliberately include the comment made by a male in Extract 4 who pointed out that women often remark on the sexiness and attractiveness of men that have broad shoulders. This observation made the implied point that it is almost the norm for some women to find men’s shoulders a sexual turn-on but may be rare for men to comment on the attractiveness of women’s shoulders. Basically, when women talk about the attractiveness of men’s shoulders it is normalized whereas when men talk about the attractiveness of women’s shoulders it is fetishized.

As far as I am aware, not only is there no academic or clinical research on the topic of shoulder fetishes, but there aren’t even any articles (this I believe is the first ever article on the topic). There was nothing between ‘shaving’ and ‘showers’ in Dr. Brenda Love’s Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices and nothing in Dr. Anil Aggrawal’s Forensic and Medico-legal Aspects of Sexual Crimes and Unusual Sexual Practices. Shoulders weren’t even mentioned in the list of fetishized body parts in Dr. C. Scorolli and colleagues’ excellent paper on the prevalence of fetishes in their 2007 paper in the International Journal of Impotence Research (a study I have cited countless times in relation to my blogs on other sexualized body parts). Given the complete lack of scientific study relating to shoulder fetishes I have decided to name a new paraphilia based on traditional nosology using the Greek words for ‘shoulder’ (omos) and ‘love’ (philia) – thus this ‘new’ paraphilia is called omosophilia (not to be confused with ‘osmophilia’ – where individuals derive sexual pleasure from certain smells and odours).

Dr Mark Griffiths, Professor of Behavioural Addiction, International Gaming Research Unit, Nottingham Trent University, Nottingham, UK

Further reading

Aggrawal A. (2009). Forensic and Medico-legal Aspects of Sexual Crimes and Unusual Sexual Practices. Boca Raton: CRC Press.

Gates, K. (2000). Deviant desires: Incredibly strange sex. New York: Juno Books.

Love, B. (2001). Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices. London: Greenwich Editions.

Scorolli, C., Ghirlanda, S., Enquist, M., Zattoni, S. & Jannini, E.A. (2007). Relative prevalence of different fetishes. International Journal of Impotence Research, 19, 432-437.

Elevation elation: A brief look at ‘lift and carry’ fetishism

In previous blogs on both muscle worship (i.e., sthenolagnia) and sexual piggybacks, I briefly mentioned that some individuals have ‘lift and carry’ (L&C) fetishes. To my knowledge, there has been no academic research on L&C fetishism but it did make it into the Buzzfeed website’s ‘11 Most Unlikely Sexual Fetishes’ list along with balloon popping, gut flopping, beard rubbing, masking, and pedal pushing. According to an article on L&C fetishism at the Area Orion website:

“The fantasy world of female muscle is no stranger to the odd and weird. Another such addition is Lift and Carry, a fetish where someone is aroused by being lifted and carried away, most often by a woman. She doesn’t need to be a bodybuilder or powerlifter, just strong enough to carry the weight of a full grown man. So what is the turn on with Lift and Carry? To many, it can be harmless fun or even part of foreplay. Some like the helpless feeling of domination by a powerful woman with no control. Others like the difference in size and enjoy the feeling of having the women struggle beneath their weight. There are various types of lifts popular to L&C. Piggy-back rides, shoulder rides, over-the-shoulder carries, pony & donkey rides and Fireman’s carry are just a few. These obviously depend on the strength of the woman and weight of the man to pull off successfully…Many men are embarrassed to have this fetish, feeling the gender role reversal makes them appear weak. Fortunate for them, there are websites, videos, stories, forums and even porn for Lift and Carry where fans can live out there fantasies in private”.

A short article about L&C at the Nation Master website makes a number of claims. It asserts that the fetish is popular, harmless, used by some as a form of sexual foreplay, and is engaged in by both genders and (implicitly) by all sexual orientations. More specifically:

“Lift & Carry is an interest wherein a person may receive sexual stimulation by either being carried around by another person or carrying one yourself. Several forms exist: Male/Male, Female/Female, Female/Male and Male/Female. Especially Female/Male and Female/Female…Some are aroused by the fact that they feel dominated because another person carries them and they have no control. In this case, the person usually likes the one who is carrying them to be strong and muscular. Others enjoy the feeling of having a person struggle to carry them and enjoy feeling the person under them having a hard time. Still others may enjoy the surprise of a smaller, lighter girl who suddenly lifts another off his or her feet”.

L&C fetishism may also have psychological and behavioural overlaps with anasteemaphilia (i.e., a sexual paraphilia in which individuals derive sexual arousal from those who are much taller or shorter than themselves – here, it is the large difference in height that is the primary source of sexual arousal). This is because the Nation Master article claims:

“The people who have this fetish are usually interested in the height and weight differences between the person carrying and the person being carried, and often prefer to see a small person carry a big person, but there are also some who prefer the opposite situations. There are several sites catering to most tastes of Lift & Carry and also [pornographic] pay sites serving customers who have this fetish”.

The article also claims that L&C fetishism is “somewhat related” to ponyplay fetishism (that I examined in a previous blog) where people get sexually aroused from dressing up like horses and engaging in horse-like activity. Although this has some face validity, this is the only article that I have seen mention the link between L&C fetishism and ponyplay. In researching this blog I visited lots of online forum and discussion sites where various individuals discussed their love of this activity or how they wanted to stop liking the activity and be ‘normal’, or from women who have partners that are into it. Here are a few selected extracts:

  • Extract 1: “This fetish has been bothering me forever and I just want to be the normal guy I am. I heard that it might be because I am submissive, but I don’t want to be like that at all, I just want to be a man. Any tips from anybody?”
  • Extract 2: “I have strong fetish of lift and carry and I want to heal it. How can I do that?”
  • Extract 3: I am the caring and compassionate kinda guy. I admit that I enjoy both carrying girls (all different kinds of ways) and being carried by girls (again in any kinda way). I find that either way arouses me…I just like them to be regular, feminine-figured women. I discovered this when one day I was playing around with my then [girlfriend], and I held her around my waist as we kissed – I had a huge rush. For some strange reason, she decided she wanted to reverse it, and she held me around her waist as we kissed. I had an even bigger rush!! Is there anyone else out there with similar desires?”
  • Extract 4: My boyfriend recently told me that he has what is referred to as a lift/carry fetish. Specifically, he fantasizes about me giving him piggy-back rides. I would love to be able to satisfy his desires; he tends to be pretty reserved and undemanding, so I was ECSTATIC that he was able to tell me about this. But our size difference makes the idea a little terrifying (me: 5’5″, 160lb; him: 6’2″, 200lb)”
  • Extract 5: “I’d like to know if this one has a name…several men have contacted me online because I’m tall, all wanting to know if I could pick them up and carry them around like they were a toddler…I’ve also been hit on by men with a thing about being shrunken to a few inches tall and carried around…In my travels about the [internet] I’ve stumbled across entire sites devoted to the Lift-And-Carry fetish (which doesn’t seem to have a snazzy name). I don’t quite understand it myself – it seems to be a subset of guys who get off on giant women”.
  • Extract 6: “I have a lift and carry fetish and I would really love a woman to carry me(especially the piggyback rides)”
  • Extract 7: “I’ve long been fascinated with lift & carry, but honestly, it all depends. I’m really not at all into guys lifting other guys. I mean, I’m a straight male for starters, but beyond that? My fave thing is seeing women strong enough to lift and carry other women or men. My ex-wife was awesome in that respect. She was *really* strong with a thick build. She weighed a lot more than people ever guessed (around 200lbs at 5’6″ when people usually guessed at least 50lbs. less). So it was always amusing when a guy (or a couple times, even a female friend) would try to pick her up”

The activity (while niche) appears to have a large online following with discussions on sex and fetish forums, and seemingly masses of pornographic L&C videos. There also appears to be a market for men buying the services of strong women and bodybuilders that supplement there income with those that desire to be lifted and carried. As the Area Orion article on L&C fetishes reported the case of the ‘Lift Goddess’:

“Lift Goddess is one such professional, a Lift and Carry dominatrix who can lift a 250 lb man while wearing stilettos. She is a naturally strong athlete, former Las Vegas Showgirl and classically trained dancer. A one-hour session runs $400 plus a $100 booking fee. She describes the experience as ‘You will be lifted born upon the wings of my superior strength. I may carry you in my arms like a child. And you will wonder… am I your Protector, or are you my prey?’”

As I have noted in other blogs on strange fetishistic behaviour, it never ceases to amaze me what arouses people sexually. A couple of people in the extracts above claim they have this fetish but do not want it (suggesting they want their fetish to be ‘treated’) but I doubt whether L&C fetishism will ever be the subject of empirical research.

Dr Mark Griffiths, Professor of Gambling Studies, International Gaming Research Unit, Nottingham Trent University, Nottingham, UK

Further reading

Aggrawal A. (2009). Forensic and Medico-legal Aspects of Sexual Crimes and Unusual Sexual Practices. Boca Raton: CRC Press.

Area Orion (2011). Lift and carry. October 19. Located at: http://areaorion.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/lift-and-carry.html

Klein, A.M. (1993). Little Big Men: Bodybuilding Subculture and Gender Construction. Albany: State University of New York Press.

Love, B. (2001). Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices. London: Greenwich Editions.

Nation Master (2013). Lift and carry. Located at: http://www.nationmaster.com/encyclopedia/Lift-and-Carry

Richardson, N. (2008): Flex-rated! Female bodybuilding: feminist resistance or erotic spectacle? Journal of Gender Studies, 17, 289-301

Sex and the University (2008). Sthenolagnia: Muscle fetishism. Located at: http://sexandtheuniversity.wordpress.com/2008/05/28/sthenolagnia-muscle-fetishism/

Wikipedia (2012). Muscle worship. Located at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscle_worship

Fight club: A brief look at erotic wrestling fetishes

In a previous blog on sthenolagnia (i.e., sexual pleasure and arousal from ‘muscle worship’), I briefly mentioned the overlap with erotic wrestling. In fact, in Brenda Love’s Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices, she specifically refers to sthenolagnia in her entry on ‘wrestling’ for erotic purposes. If you type ‘wrestling fetish’ into Google the first dozen or more pages displays hundreds of dedicated websites that feature pornographic video clips of erotic wrestling. These include websites such as Erotic Vixen’s Wrestling, Wrestling Fetish Club, and Academy Wrestling, as well as a dedicated Facebook site Erotic Wrestling (please be warned that clicking on any of these links will take you to sites featuring explicit sexual content). The Fetish House website is one of many websites that advertises erotic female wrestling services to potential paying customers (presumably male but from what I saw they are happy for paying female customers also). The website says:

“We have left a room fairly sparsely equipped specifically for wrestling purposes. In order to minimise injury we have padded gymnastic mats on which to roll around. Your wrestling partner may be dressed in lingerie or leotards. For your safety and also for the preservation of the mats we do not wear high heeled boots or shoes during wrestling sessions. You wouldn’t want to have an eye gouged out by accident just because you liked the look of your savage Dominatrix in stilettos! You can opt to wrestle on a bed if you prefer for very light sessions, but extra care will need to be taken to not fall from the bed or cause damage to any item in the room. Wrestling sessions are strictly by appointment only. They are extremely physical and therefore have a higher price. Your Mistress, more often than not, will have to completely re-do her hair and makeup after a wrestling session which, of course, takes extra time. Remember that, even though your Mistress may be extremely strong for a female, you are to always allow Her to win – even though you believe at times you may be able to overpower Her. These are the rules of wrestling! The only time it would be acceptable to win during a wrestling bout with a female from Fetish House is when she is a submissive and has consented to this activity before the commencement of the session”

There are clearly overlaps with sexual masochism and there are female domination websites that also cater for those who have erotic wrestling fantasies and fetishes (such as the Get Your Ass In The Ring website). In addition, there is plenty of erotic wrestling fan fiction such as that housed at the Literotica website, as well as various books such as Nikki Novak’s Bring It, Bitch: The Secret Life of a Catfighter Exposed and DVDs such as Women’s Erotic Wrestling: Hardcore Booty Battle and Extreme Chick Fights – Barely Legal. It’s also worth mentioning that in addition to the hundreds of websites catering for heterosexual wrestling fetishes, there are a fair few out there for gay men too (such as the Fight Lads and Bonesutra websites – again be warned that these are sexually explicit should you click on the hyperlinks).

Finding something more academically based has proved much harder to come by, and even finding online self-confessions were hard to come by, but I came across these two:

Extract 1: “I can’t exactly remember where in my life it stemmed from. But I am turned on by women defeating men in wrestling. And this is a fetish I’m very immersed in. I’m still trying real hard to find a girl to do this with me, but I haven’t had any luck yet. I had some girlfriends in the past, but they preferred not to play it out with me. I guess my ultimate fantasy is being trapped in a girl’s head scissor while she’s wearing a leotard. I think the head scissor thrills me the most because in a sense its a very erotic and humiliating hold. And no – don’t tell me to go see a dom[anatrix] because that’s not my thing. Also I can’t meet up with a women session wrestler, because I have no money at the moment”

Extract 2: “I have a wrestling fetish, Like as in erotic wrestling I can’t seem to find any other women into this? Am I weird? Are there any other women out there into putting a man in between their thigh’s and making him do what they want and vise versa?”

In my previous blog on sthenolagnia and muscle worshippers, I noted that such individuals can derive sexual arousal from simply touching those with highly visible muscles (often referred to as the ‘dominator’ – and typically a fitness instructor, bodybuilder, wrestler, etc.). The various tactile activities that can facilitate sexual pleasure include rubbing, massaging, kissing, licking, and/or other more diverse activities including lifting, carrying, and (in the context of this blog) engaging in wrestling moves. The first academic paper that I located that even mentioned erotic wrestling fetishes was a 1984 paper by Dr. Joseph Slade in the Journal of Communication. Slade examined the history of violence in hard-core pornographic film. The reference was only a passing reference about film content, and noted:

“Men ‘punish’ a female for teasing or flirting, for masturbating, or for copulating with another man or woman. Women may spank other women (a bow to the women-wrestling fetish) or humiliate men, taunting their impotence or ordering them to perform acts of submission”.

Dr. Joseph Cautela published a paper in a 1986 issue of the Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry that presented a behavioural analysis of a fetish via an interview transcript of a therapy session with a 31-yr-old male who became aroused when he thought about boys’ feet. Obviously the man being treated was primarily a podophile (foot fetishist) with paedophile interests. However, the interview transcript makes clear that the man had masturbatory fantasies about wrestling with boys. However, Dr. Cautela simply pointed out that the pairing of sexual arousal via masturbation while thinking about wrestling with boys only strengthened the associative link and strengthened the persistence of the fetish.

In my previous blog on muscle worshippers, I made reference to a book by H.A. Carson called A Roaring Girl: An Interview with the Thinking Man’s Hooker. Part of that book focused on the ‘muscle girl’ phenomenon, and the interviewee was asked by Carson whether many of her clients fantasize about female bodybuilders. She replied also by making reference to erotic wrestling. More specifically she noted that:

“Female bodybuilders call their groupies schmoos, and a lot of schmoos pay…Most of [them] were into wrestling – you know: the Chyna Syndrome, i.e., the fantasy of being bodyslammed by a muscular woman. But a lot of them are into body and muscle worship”.

In 2008, Dr. Niall Richardson published a paper in the Journal of Gender Studies with a punning title I would have been proud of (i.e., ‘Flex-rated! Female bodybuilding: feminist resistance or erotic spectacle?’). Richardson noted:

“One of the fastest growing forms of erotic representation is the newly-christened form of sexual fetishism termed ‘muscle-worship’ – a form of sexual fetishism which has only recently reached public attention through the new-found availability of videos/DVDs and, most significantly, the Internet…[Various sites sell] videos and DVDs of flexing or wrestling ‘Amazons’, ‘Valkyries’ or ‘Muscle Goddesses’…Like all forms of fetishism, muscle-worship is about the adoration of the fetish object itself rather than copulation. As Krafft-Ebing described, for the fetishist, ‘the fetish itself (rather than the person associated with it) becomes the exclusive object of sexual desire’ and therefore ‘instead of coitus, strange manipulations of the fetish’ are the sexual goal (Krafft-Ebing quoted in Steele 1996, p. 11). For muscle-worshippers, oiling up and massaging muscles, watching a bodybuilder flexing (especially seeing the muscle bulge and swell) and displaying feats of strength is not necessarily a precursor to copulation. Instead, the activity of muscle-worship is, for muscle-worshippers, the satisfying sexual act”.

This extract implies there is some crossover between muscle worship and wrestling fetishes (and appears to have good face validity). However, from all the reading that I have done there appears to be almost no psychological overlap between wrestling fetishes and mud wrestling as the latter is rooted far more in ‘wet and messy’ fetishism and salirophilia as apposed to muscle worship and sthenolagnia, although in the absence of empirical data I might be completely wrong. However, as with many paraphiliac and fetishistic behaviours I have examined, we know nothing about the prevalence or etiology of the behaviour.

Dr Mark Griffiths, Professor of Gambling Studies, International Gaming Research Unit, Nottingham Trent University, Nottingham, UK

Further reading

Aggrawal A. (2009). Forensic and Medico-legal Aspects of Sexual Crimes and Unusual Sexual Practices. Boca Raton: CRC Press.

Carson, H.A. (2010). A Roaring Girl: An interview with the Thinking Man’s Hooker. Bloomington, IN: Author House.

Cautela, J.R. (1986). Behavioral analysis of a fetish: First interview. Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry, 17, 161-165.

Love, B. (2001). Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices. London: Greenwich Editions.

Novak, N. (2010). Bring It, Bitch: The Secret Life of a Catfighter Exposed and New Tradition Books.

Richardson, N. (2008): Flex-rated! Female bodybuilding: feminist resistance or erotic spectacle? Journal of Gender Studies, 17, 289-301

Sex and the University (2008). Sthenolagnia: Muscle fetishism. Located at: http://sexandtheuniversity.wordpress.com/2008/05/28/sthenolagnia-muscle-fetishism/

Joseph W. Slade (1984). Violence in the Hard-core Pornographic Film: A Historical Survey. Journal of Communication, 34, 148-163.

Steele, V. (1996). Fetish: Fashion, Sex and Power. Oxford: Oxford University Press.

Wikipedia (2012). Muscle worship. Located at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscle_worship