Category Archives: Sex addiction
In January 1995, the Channel 4 television documentary programme Equinox examined sexual paraphilias in a programme called ‘Beyond Love’. One of the many experts interviewed for the programme, Dr. Gene Abel, talked about a man with an unusual fetish. His sexual turn-on was gold wedding rings. In recounting the individual’s story, Dr. Abel said that the fetish was very specific and that the ring had to be of a particular width (6mm to 10mm if I recall correctly) for it to be sexually stimulating to the man in question. The roots of the fetish were established in childhood and arose from the time that the man was a boy and used to sit on his baby-sitter’s knee and play with the ring (twirling it around on her finger). The playing with the ring was accompanied by sexual arousal (from sitting on the knee of an attractive woman) but over time, the ring itself became the source of sexual arousal via continued associative pairing (i.e., sexual arousal from the sight of the female babysitter’s ring became a classically conditioned response).
The man had now married and his wife was unaware of his fetish but the sexologist explained that the man could not get sexually aroused and make love to his wife unless she was wearing her wedding ring and he was twirling it on her finger during sexual intercourse. Dr. Abel also said the man would also walk up to female strangers and comment how lovely their wedding ring was and ask if he could take a photograph of it. He would then use the developed photographs as source material for masturbatory purposes. This anecdotal case story might sound a little bizarre especially as there is no sexual paraphilia that refers to being sexually attracted to gold wedding rings (although Dr. Anil Aggrawal’s book Forensic and Medico-legal Aspects of Sexual Crimes and Unusual Sexual Practices does mention timophilia, a sexual paraphilia in which individuals gain sexual pleasure and arousal from gold or wealth – and which I briefly mentioned in a previous blog).
However, Dr. Abel and his colleagues later wrote up this account as one of six unusual case studies in a 2008 issue of the journal Psychiatric Clinics of North America where the man in question was given the pseudonym ‘Mr. Rings’ (the other five being ‘Mr. Cartoons’, ‘Mr. Feet’, ‘Mr. Balloons’, ‘Mr. Cigarettes’, and ‘Mr. Spanking’). In all of these cases (including ‘Mr. Rings’), they noted:
“The fetish objects in these case histories were unique enough, and the attraction to the objects strong enough, that the individuals could clearly track their interest from early childhood through adulthood. It is much easier to retrieve remote, explicit memories, such as events (e.g., a party where balloons popped) or playing with objects, than to recall the process of sexual development with no distinct markers in the individual’s history. Because these distinct experiences predated identified sexuality, became a focus of attention for the individual, and then were incorporated into the individual’s sexual interests and masturbatory fantasies, it was possible to accurately track the patterns of sexual arousal. We were also able to clearly identify how these men attempted to blend their deviant interests into sexual relationships with partners and the consequences of their efforts”.
As far as I am aware, this is the only academic paper to have examined ‘ring fetishism’ but my own research on the topic has led me to the conclusion that ‘Mr. Rings’ case is not unique. Here are a few accounts that I found in various online forums on the internet:
- Extract 1: “[I] have a wedding [ring] on hand fetish. Even more aroused if the woman wears both a wedding and an engagement ring. I don’t like any other kind of ring. Rather than the plain yellow I prefer silver colour (platinum ones)” (Welly11)
- Extract 2: “I have the same type of fetish. I’m turned on by ladies who wear wedding and engagement rings stacked on the same finger, and other simple band (plain gold or pave) rings. That’s why I founded a Yahoo! Group for other fetishists to share their photos” (Saladinthewise)
- Extract 3: “I thought I was the only person on the planet with this (get incredibly aroused when I see a woman wear the plain yellow gold wedding ring) and I couldn’t make any sense of it for ages…Thanks for restoring a bit of my sanity and faith in my normality!” (Heshan1)
- Extract 4: “My husband bought me a wedding ring that looks very similar to the one his mom wears. He later confessed it is a tremendous turn-on for him just seeing me wearing it. He doesn’t remember his mom (who is a wonderful person) doing anything ‘out of line’ with him in the past and it is not essential for me to have it on for sex. Could something have happened as a baby to implant this ‘fascination’ in his mind?” (iDawn491)
These are all fairly short self-confessed admissions and don’t really tell us much except that the fetish appears to be male-based and that the ring (or stacked rings in the case of two of the accounts) have to be worn by women. Extract 4 does point out that her husband can engage in sex without her wearing the ring so in this case, it wouldn’t be a true fetish behaviour (merely a strong sexual preference). There are also some sexually explicit discussions about wedding ring fetishes here. However, I did come across some more detailed accounts:
- Extract 5: “My fetish started a long time ago, I am 55. Women who have worn wide bands have always had my interest. I have been married twice and each time I have told my wife to be about my fetish. Both women have worn wide band. My first wife got deep in to religion and wanted me to quit carrying an off duty side arm, I was a police officer at the time. My second wife said if I wanted her to she would wear a few wide rings if I got her what I wanted. I have been married to her for almost 20 years and she has worn them both day and night. I really dislike the thin plain gold rings that a lot of women wear. I feel all women should wear wide band on one of their ring fingers. My second wife dated a guy before me who had a fetish for bangle bracelets that could not be removed he had her wearing 5 to 6 on each arm that were soldered on and could not pass over the wrist. Even after she broke up with him she continued to wear them for about 10 years and once in a blue moon she would see him somewhere and shake them at him, just to see and you can’t have me” (Edward 5759).
This account hints that the fetish probably started in adolescence and that like ‘Mr. Rings’, the ring has to be of a specific type (in this case a wide band). It is also a fetish that the man in question was happy to tell his wives about, and something that the wives were psychologically comfortable with. This last account is a little more complicated as there are overlaps with other sexually fetishistic behaviours:
- Extract 6: “My longstanding fetish is to be tied up by married women wearing a certain type of wedding ring. These are plain gold, very large 20-25 mms in width, curved like a barrel and smooth, the curve less pronounced as the width increases…All you need to know is that every woman I have ever encountered wearing one I have subsequently fantasized about them tying me up…My fetish even leading me to follow women I know to wear them. I have no idea why these wedding rings turn me on, and continue to do so, but it is a fetish I feel might be a new one and something I have just wanted to tell people about for a very long time. I can only think that the size and shape have something to do with my fetish and would appear to be linked somehow to my desire to always be tied with lots of rope, generously wrapped around the body. I’ve never really viewed my fetish as a problem other than the fact that chancing upon women wearing these rings is something that rarely ever happens, as they are not commonplace, therefore there is practically nothing to satisfy my ‘addiction’, for want of a better description…There was a woman who wore a wedding ring of the kind I have described, a particularly large one, who would shop every Saturday at a certain location at a certain time and I would make sure I’d be there to see it. This went on for three years. That was a long time ago now, and I still fantasize about her tying me up…I simply cannot imagine that ANYONE shares my fetish, so I can’t really expect to meet anyone here who does. The unusual nature of it being the biggest problem, that there is simply no concrete outlet for it” (Brainpan).
This final account is the most interesting one I have come across although is complicated by the fact that there are elements of bondage and sexual masochism added to the fetishistic mix. Although (like the other extracts) there is no insight into the roots and etiology of the behaviour, the size and the shape of the ring are again very specific suggesting that the longstanding desire dates back to a time where the person simply can’t recall where the interest in rings began (i.e., early childhood perhaps). As with other accounts, the fetishistic behaviour is not viewed as a problem by the person who has it (although in this latter case, there is arguably an element of stalking involved).
In all honesty (and although I find this interesting), I can’t see ‘wedding ring fetishism’ ever being the topic of in-depth psychological research particularly as the behaviour appears to be non-problematic in the main.
Dr Mark Griffiths, Professor of Gambling Studies, International Gaming Research Unit, Nottingham Trent University, Nottingham, UK
Abel, G.G., Coffey, L. & Osborn, C.A. (2008). Sexual arousal patterns: normal and deviant. Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 31, 643-655.
Aggrawal A. (2009). Forensic and Medico-legal Aspects of Sexual Crimes and Unusual Sexual Practices. Boca Raton: CRC Press.
I can’t remember exactly how, but one day last year I came across a website called ‘Hands On Her Hips’ which is totally dedicated to pictures of females posing with their hands on their hips. As the website states:
“The mission statement of this blog is very simple. The blog contains picture of women holding their hands on their hips. To me the pose is very feminine, attractive, powerful and confident. The simple gesture of a woman putting her hands on her hips appeals to me and this blog is dedicated to that pose”
However, I soon discovered on doing a little Googling that there appears to be a niche community of ‘hands on hip’ [HoH] fetishists out there. I’m not aware of any academic research on HoH fetishism but there are a number of online references to the practice. According to a short 2009 online article on ‘eight freaky fetishes’ by Grace Murano, she claims that:
“Hands on the Hip is a type of hand partialism, which means the attraction to a specific action performed by the hands. It’s very hard to explain the presence of a fetish site devoted entirely to women posing with their hands on their hips, standing defiantly and angrily in the way so many mothers do when their children misbehave. Somewhere, deep in the psyche of the site’s creator, he desperately wants to find a mother figure who will discipline him with nothing harsher than a time out and denial of television”.
Murano’s brief description appears to somewhat concur with Wikipedia’s brief entry on hand fetishism (that appears to have come from Dr. Ellen McCallum’s 1998 book Object Lessons: How to Do Things With Fetishism). This entry claims that hand fetishism:
“…may include the sexual attraction to a specific area such as the fingers, palm or nails, or the attraction to a specific action performed by the hands; which may otherwise be considered non-sexual – such as washing or drying dishes. This fetish may manifest itself as a desire to experience physical interaction, or as a source of sexual fantasy”.
Another 2009 short online article by Gloria Brame asserts that HoH fetishism is actually an ‘action fetish’ (i.e., an individual who derives sexual arousal not from an object or body part but from an action that someone performs). Brame then goes on to assert that:
“For most, that includes seeing it, but it isn’t just a branch of voyeurism: the fundamental thrill attaches to the action itself, and not just its visual or auditory pleasures. One very broad example would be spankers who get off on the action (of spanking) itself, and not – as is more common among [sadomasochists] – the pain or humiliation or its place in a power dynamic…Some of us know SM players too who are turned on by the actions but not the psychological space…It’s a bit easier to sort out when the action fetish is highly particularized. For example, a fetish for watching a woman in stockings and high heels step on a car’s brakes, or a fetish for seeing a coed in her underwear bouncing on a big balloon There are scores of barely documented action fetishes, so I’m always happy when I see an enthusiast build a blog to his/her own fetish, like this one [Hands on her hips]”
In another list of ‘weird fetishes’ from 2007, Anthony Burch and Frank Movsesian also listed HoH fetish and tried to add in a bit of psychodynamic psychology into the mix. They claimed that HoH fetish sites prove that Sigmund Freud was right. I personally don’t adhere to this viewpoint at all but given the lack of any psychological insight and theorizing, they go as far as to say:
“There’s no other way to explain the presence of a fetish site devoted entirely to women posing with their hands on their hips, standing defiantly and angrily in the way so many mothers do when their children misbehave. Somewhere, deep in the psyche of the site’s creator, he desperately wants to find and have sex with a mother figure who will discipline him with nothing harsher than a Time Out and denial of television. I guess this fetish is for people who aren’t quite into sadomasochistic discipline, but think they might one day be. Bondage training wheels, if you will”.
There are loads of articles and papers on various aspects of non-verbal communication and to be honest (and because it is not my area of expertise) I haven’t got the time to read everything that’s been written about ‘hands on hips’ gestures, but most online sources appear to indicate that the ‘hands on hips’ stance helps give the appearance of being physically bigger and is a non-verbal cue that shows others that we are “ready for action” (i.e., a ‘readiness gesture’) but is sometimes mistaken for unfriendliness. One website claims that the people most likely to be observed in are “workaholics, athletes and productive people” and can demonstrate a show of authority and superiority. Another website article notes that:
“Hands-on-Hips is used by the child arguing with its parent, the athlete waiting for his event to begin, the boxer waiting for the bout to start and males who want to issue a non-verbal challenge to other males who enter their territory. In each instance the person takes the Hands-on-Hips pose and this is a universal gesture used to communicate that a person is ready for assertive action. It lets the person take up more space and has the threat value of the pointed elbows that act as weapons, preventing others from approaching or passing. The arms being half raised show readiness for attack and this is the position taken by cowboys in a gunfight. Even one hand on the hip will send the intended message, particularly when it’s pointed at the intended victim. It’s used everywhere and in the Philippines and Malaysia it carries the even stronger message of anger or outrage…Its basic meaning carries a subtly aggressive attitude everywhere. It has also been called the achiever stance, related to the goal-directed person who is ready to tackle their objectives or is ready to take action on something. Men often use this gesture around women to display an assertive male attitude”
If these observations are true, it would seem to suggest that those who have HoH fetishes may like being/feeling in submissive positions and being sexually dominated (although that’s pure speculation on my part as there is simply no empirical research whatsoever). I honestly can’t see HoH fetishes ever being the subject of serious scientific study as they are unlikely to have any appreciable negative impact in the lives of such people (if such people even exist).
Dr Mark Griffiths, Professor of Gambling Studies, International Gaming Research Unit, Nottingham Trent University, Nottingham, UK
Brame, G. (2009). Action fetishes and hands on hips. July 28. Located at: http://gloriabrame.typepad.com/inside_the_mind_of_gloria/2009/07/hands-on-her-hips.html
Burch, A. & Movsesian, F. (2007). 10 really weird fetishes. Double Viking, November 9. Located at: http://www.doubleviking.com/bullet-points-10-really-weird-fetishes-6984-p.html
McCallum. E.L. (1998.) Object Lessons: How to Do Things With Fetishism. New York: State University of New York Press.
Murano, G. (2009). 8 freakiest fetishes. Oddee, June 18. Located at: http://www.oddee.com/item_96718.aspx
One Saturday night while my family was watching Strictly Come Dancing, I found myself idly Googling looking for inspiration for a new blog. One of the pages I found myself on was Kinkopedia’s ‘Kink of the Week’ website. This particular page made reference to ten “paraphilias you may never heard of”. The list (in alphabetical order and the website’s definition) included bromidrophilia (sexual attraction to body odours and smells), genuphilia (sexual attraction to knees), mechanophilia (sexual attraction to cars), mythophilia (sexual attraction to myths, stories, or gossip), nasophilia (sexual attraction to noses), onomatophilia (sexual attraction to words, or a certain word), rupophilia (sexual attraction to dirt), sitophilia (sexual attraction to food), spectrophilia (sexual attraction to ghosts) and vorarephilia (sexual attraction to eating or be eaten by another).
Regular readers of my blog won’t be surprised to know that I was aware of almost all the paraphilias on the list (in fact I’ve written blogs on most of these). However, the one that jumped out at me (no pun intended) was genuphilia. Given the fact that (i) there is absolutely no scientific research on genuphilia, and (ii) genuphilia does not make an appearance in either Dr. Brenda Love’s Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices or Dr. Anil Aggrawal’s Forensic and Medico-legal Aspects of Sexual Crimes and Unusual Sexual Practices suggests one of two things – either that this particular paraphilia does not really exist, or that it is a relatively newly realized fetish. It’s also another paraphilia where the name appears to have been derived as the opposite of a known phobia (i.e., genuphobia – an irrational fear of knees).
In researching this article, I have to admit that I almost gave up on trying to put a blog together given the lack of material (academic and anecdotal). I read an online article about sexual paraphilias in the new (fifth edition) of the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders that referred to genuphilia being related to gender but then quickly realized the article was a funny April Fool’s Day spoof (still worth a read though! See ‘Further reading’ below for a link to the article). Over at the Psyche Time-Lapse website, genuphilia made an appearance in their regular ‘Word Of The Day’ column. The writer of the short article noted:
“Getting on your knees is usually a prelude to some sexy fellatio initiation or submissive roleplay. But sexiness isn’t always just coded into the act of falling to your knees; it can be on the knees themselves Genuphilia refers to a special, sexual attraction for knees: knock-kneed, knobby knees, replaced knees, any one of the jumbly joints that allows our legs to move efficiently and helps support body weight. The area right behind the knee can be a sensitive, often-ignored erogenous zone, and light, tantalizing strokes on and around them with your fingers can bring shivers to a partner’s body. And with fall approaching, showing off your knees with a variety of knee socks, boots, and fall-length coats has never been easier!”
As a last resort I went online searching on various forums and discussion groups and only located a handful of self-admitted accounts of people claiming to have a knee fetish:
Extract 1: “I think I must have had something like this for as long as I can remember. When I was aged 12 [years old] I was nearly always in shorts and there was a near neighbour who was a girl of about the same age who had a mix of boys and girls as friends and she liked us to show our legs as she thought it was cute that boys were in shorts and that we boys showed more leg than the girls. As I got older I always thought that boys in school shorts looked cute and was jealous that their uniforms allowed shorts while the school I was at would not allow shorts. I was attracted to my ex-boyfriend when I moved to another school and saw a guy in shorts which showed off his long sexy smooth legs. As he and I saw each other out of school, he encouraged me to shave my legs so that we could rub our bare legs together. I noticed in particular his knees were turning me on and we took it in turns to feel each other’s legs and I concentrated on rubbing his knees with mine. I love to show off my knees as much as possible and when I see both guys and girls showing theirs, I feel very aroused. There is nothing so good as a pair of sexy knees”
Extract 3: “Hairless Inside Knees on gay men are amazing! That we are agreed that is why you are here at the internet’s premier Hairless Inside Knee Gay Fetish Website! Don’t get us wrong we love hairy legs on our gay men. But there is something about the inside of the knee that when it’s hairless sends our pulses racing. Here at THIKFG you’ll find sexual tips to satisfy your hairless inside knee gay partner as well as fantasies and the best photos and videos of the best hairless inside knees around. So sit back and enjoy!”
Extract 4: “I haven’t explained what my happy page is about yet. Knee Fetishes!…I know you guys are thinking. THIS IS WEIRD! But [you] know what? It is weird. It’s the next big thing. Haven’t you heard? Pretty soon everyone will be having knee, elbow and ankle fetishes…So I would just like to take this moment to tell all you people, look around. There are many knees. Some are ugly, some are beautiful, some are hairy, some are lumpy, some are squishy. Just enjoy yourself. Stop and look at the knees”
Presuming these extracts are genuine (and I have no reason to suspect they’re not), a few tentative conclusions can be drawn (even from such a few extracts). Firstly, based on these accounts, knee fetishes (and genuphilia paraphilias) genuinely exist. (I would also argue that the existence of dedicated websites such as The Knee Pit Gallery also suggest there is an audience and niche market for sexualized knee enthusiasts). Secondly, it appears that both men and women may have this fetish/paraphilia. Thirdly, it appears that genuphilia may occur within different sexual orientations (i.e., heterosexual and homosexual). Fourthly, it appears that genuphilia may overlap with other more established sexual paraphilias (such as hand, leg and foot fetishes [podophilia]). Finally, it would appear that childhood experiences may be critical in explaining the etiology of gunuphilia. The most detailed extract appears to suggest that the sexual liking for knees may be explained by conditioning processes (i.e., classical conditioning). I seriously doubt we’ll see academic research on genuphilia any time soon but that doesn’t mean it’s not a genuine sexual fetish/paraphilia.
Dr Mark Griffiths, Professor of Gambling Studies, International Gaming Research Unit, Nottingham Trent University, Nottingham, UK
Aggrawal A. (2009). Forensic and Medico-legal Aspects of Sexual Crimes and Unusual Sexual Practices. Boca Raton: CRC Press.
American Psychiatric Association (2013) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (Fifth Edition). Washington, D.C.: American Psychiatric Association.
Love, B. (2001). Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices. London: Greenwich Editions.
Molay, J. (2011). Crossdreamers, April 1. Located at: http://www.crossdreamers.com/2011/04/paraphiliphilia-makes-it-into-dsm-5.html
In a previous blog I briefly looked at plushophilia. In his 2009 book Forensic and Medico-legal Aspects of Sexual Crimes and Unusual Sexual Practices, Dr. Anil Aggrawal defines plushophilia as a “sexual attraction to stuffed toys or people in animal costume, such as theme park characters”. However, as I also noted in my previous blog, other online sources simply define plushophilia as a sexual paraphilia involving stuffed animals. Sexual and pornographic activities involving animal anthropomorphism (including plushophilia), is known among the plushophile community as ‘yiffing’. Plushophiles are often referred to as plushies, although as I noted in a previous blog on the Furry Fandom, the term can also refer to stuffed animal enthusiasts who have no sexual interest at all (i.e., people who just love cuddly toys).
Regular readers of my blog will know that in 2014, I was the resident psychologist on 12-episode television series called Forbidden made for the Discovery Channel. One of the stories that the series reported on concerned Dr. Peter Banki, a plushophile who appeared in the ‘Odd Man Out’ episode. Before I was interviewed for the story, I had to research the story and was also given some production notes as background material.
According to the material I was provided with, Banki has a PhD in German Philosophy and is a member of the Philosophy Research Initiative at the University of Western Sydney (In Australia), where he lectured and tutored in the School of Humanities and Languages. He is also the founder and host of ‘Schwelle’, a non-profit-organization that offers unusual and experimental workshops promoting a ‘different intellectual and sexual culture.’ He is also the curator of ‘Xplore’, an annual sex education event. He lives with his girlfriend and is currently living off profits from the festival and taking Shibari Rope classes at home in Bondi (Shibari is a form of Japanese rope bondage). His hobbies were listed as including cross-dressing, sex education, and reading. The production notes also informed me that:
“Peter Banki has lectured to hundreds of university students. He’s a fully-grown eloquent and intelligent man but he also plays with stuffed toys. In fact Peter sees himself as an advocate for plush play enthusiasts or ‘plushies’ as they’re called. What most would interpret as childish nonsense, Peter sees as a form of self-expression and a creative outlet. With 40 odd animals in his collection, each with their own invented character, profession and history, Peter has created his own fantasy world. His plushies are very important, ‘My close friends all know about it, some of them I even involve in playtime with the animals. But generally I only share this world with people I trust.’ He’s not completely secret about his pastime though. He’s given theatrical performances creating voices and characters for stuffed toys to demonstrate to audiences what plush play is all about”.
Dr. Banki claimed he had been obsessed with plushies ever since he was a child when he would get his parents to talk to his toys.
“It’s something I’ve always done. I once tried to give it up to keep a girlfriend but I couldn’t do it. I got too depressed”.
Instead of trying to repress his urges Dr. Banki embraces it. He regularly sleeps with the toys. Although Dr. Banki is heterosexual he admitted that he’s not a typical man.
“Being a man I think implies being an adult and strong and responsible. When I play with the plushy animals I think I’m like a little boy.”
The programme presented Dr. Banki as what the production notes described as a “quirky dichotomy”. On one hand, he’s a cultured academic, an adult who lectures and curates festivals. On the other, he’s a naughty child that plays with cuddly toys. Banki has created a fantasy world, something that he cultivated from his vivid imagination. Sometimes his behaviour involves erotic role-playing games. It’s the polarity that the documentary wanted to capture (something that Dr. Banki liked the idea of).
On screen, Peter is filmed sitting in his lounge watching television, and relaxing. He casually mentions that there’s no fun when it’s all work and no play, that he enjoys a little downtime with his ‘friends’. The camera then pulls out to a wider screenshot and reveals his furry plush toy friends sitting either side of him on the couch and on the floor. Peter introduces each and every plush toy friend and describes each toy’s back-story. He explained that some of his plush toys are in monogamous relationships, some are in naughty adulterous relationships, and that others are polyamorous. The production notes highlighted that:
“We see how his plush toy relationships manifest into the day-to day. He plays with them on the couch, on the floor of the lounge room, in the laundry, at the dining table, on his balcony/yard and baths them. We see a series of moments where the plush toys are passive participants: he prepares lunch, they’re watching; he works at his desk, they’re watching; he hangs his washing on the line, they’re watching from all the way the balcony. Peter even enjoys the odd social outing with his toys. We see him playing hide and seek in the park, pushing them on the swings”.
Dr. Banki also enjoys playing with other plushie enthusiasts. The documentary filmed other plushies playing with their stuffed animals during Banki’s Plush toy workshop at the Xplore Festival. Bankie also showed the programme makers the ‘Plush Toy Animal Collective’ Facebook page and described their various outings such as dinners and speed dating nights. One of his toys (‘Bunny Junior’, described as an old style Marxist) even has his very own Facebook page featuring photos of his Shibari rope therapy.
Banki was also filmed on his way to buy a new plush toy to add to his collection. He put three of his animal ‘friends’ into the back of his car and put on their seatbelts. He then goes to a restaurant and has dinner with all his plush toys at the table with him. The notes I was given provide a useful case summary:
“Dr Peter Banki has always played with Plush Animals. He used to ask his parents to talk to them and they would invent stories. He carried this play onto adulthood. They were always played with in a more intimate environment with people in the bedroom. Now Peter shares his play with the public and with friends. They go to restaurants, they go to parties. The Plush animals have names, some speak German, some speak French, Junior the rabbit, for instance, is an old style Marxist labor leader. As Peter grew older, the animals developed sexual relationships: some are straight, some are homosexual and some like to be spanked. For Peter, it’s a way of saying things that can’t be expressed otherwise. After simulating sexual play, Peter says he feels really exposed, but in a good way”.
Given the lack of research into plushophilia, case studies such as Dr. Banki give us an insight to the life of a plushophile. We don’t know how representative Dr. Banki is of other plushophiles but at least his story is out there.
Aggrawal A. (2009). Forensic and Medico-legal Aspects of Sexual Crimes and Unusual Sexual Practices. Boca Raton: CRC Press.
FoxWolfie Galen’s Plushie Page (2012). Definitions. Located at: http://www.velocity.net/~galen/furrydef.html
Gerbasi, K. C., Paolone, N., Higner, J., Scaletta, L. L., Bernstein, P. L., Conway, S., & Privitera, A. (2008). Furries from A to Z (anthropomorphism to zoomorphism). Society & Animals, 16(3), 197-222.
Hill, D. (2000). Cuddle time: In the world of plushophiles, not all stuffed animals are created equal. Salon, June 19. Located at: http://www.salon.com/2000/06/19/plushies/
Wiki Fur (2015). Animal totem. Located at: http://en.wikifur.com/wiki/Animal_totem
Wiki Fur (2015). Plushophilia. Located at: http://en.wikifur.com/wiki/Plushophilia
In a previous blog, I examined medical fetishism. While researching that blog I came across a number of sub-forms of medical fetishism including ‘dental braces fetishism’. According to an article on the Nation Master website
“Dental braces fetishism is a form of sexual fetishism where a person is sexually aroused or stimulated by the sight, brushing, or feel of dental braces (particularly silver stainless steel braces, but sometimes retainers and headgear). They can be aroused the most by tongue contact with the braces, or by seeing semen ejaculated onto the dental braces (which is common in some pornography). Many are also aroused simply by the bright silver shine of traditional stainless steel braces. The rubber band colors can also stimulate such a reaction in the person with the fetish. Some are aroused by the sight of a woman’s tongue touching her braces. All of these are fetishes mostly associated with males seeing braces on females. A number of pornographic websites that concentrate on this fetish exist. There are also non-pornographic websites that focus simply on the aesthetic qualities of braces – particularly silver stainless steel braces and retainers. Some of these websites are maintained by adult female orthodontic patients for this express purpose and charge expensive membership fees to those wishing to view these sites. Also, there are pornographic websites devoted to auxiliary devices used with braces – particularly headgear. Supposedly, devotees of these devices are sexual bondage buffs and associate these devices with sexual bondage”.
Given the lack of scientific research on the topic, I can neither confirm nor deny any of the claims made by Nation Master, although there are certainly dedicated online websites that specialize in dental brace pornography (for instance, websites such as Fetish Braces, Beauty and Braces and E-Hotsex – please be warned that these are sexually explicit sites). Most of these sites feature scantily clad and/or naked women with braces that seem to indicate that such sexual penchants and fetishes are male-based. There are also discussions about how having braces affects people’s sex lives on online discussion websites such as the Metal Mouth Forum. There are also various online articles about having sex if you wear braces. For instance, an article entitled ‘Braces in the Bedroom’ on the Arch Wired website (a website dedicated to ‘adults in braces’) noted:
“Having braces doesn’t have to mean the end of certain sexual pleasures. It might mean tweaking your technique…or just plain being more careful. In the words of one enlightened Arch Wired reader, ‘practice makes perfect’. And if you decide to abstain…well, as they say, absence…or maybe in this case abstinence…will make it all the fonder until the braces are off”
Arguably one of the strangest articles I came across in researching this blog was one from May 2011 featured on Redath’s website that examined the sexualized use of orthodontic devices (described by the female author as an “oral fetish”) by people she had met in Second Life. The article claimed that there were four or five people in Second Life who had such an orthodontic fetish and the article included lots of images of various avatars (including the author’s) wearing dental braces in a clearly sexualized way (along with all the prices –in Linden dollars – of the costs of buying virtual dental braces and dental headgear).
I also went in search of online case studies and online self-confessions relating to dental brace fetishes, and the best examples I found was in an online discussion forum in the UK Babe Channels website. Here are some extracted quotes that at least suggest such fetishes exist:
Extract 1: “This is a bit of a strange one but i really think it could work. There’s so many xxx sites that LOVE girls with braces so I figure we should have a babeshow that features a girl with braces on. Like me!!!” (Amanda Max)
Extract 2: “I like braces and I know for a fact another forum member does. I may have posed for them in braces once” (RCTV)
Extract 3: “I LOVE braces, they look sexy on a woman, and braces look sexy even when there’s clothes underneath them. I can see how braces can be sexy, and think I would need to see more of them to find them sexy, but they def[initely] no turn off, and I do know two girls with them on and they are both still sexy and both 18 [years old]. Some girls do look young” (MH92)
Extract 4: “Teeth braces is quite a common fetish – largely aimed at the market who like ‘teen’ (18+) porn/glamour, although in some cases some of the models on the pro sites can look disturbingly young, despite the legal 18+ declarations” (Skateguy)
These extracts do not prove the existence of dental braces fetishism but are suggestive that some people find such devices a sexual turn-on. Given that most dental brace wearers are adolescents, it does raise suggestions of paedophilic undertones (although that’s pure speculation on my part, although Extracts 3 and 4 above also seem to be indicative of the same type of thinking). I can’t see this area of fetishistic interest ever being seriously researched in an academic context (but stranger things have happened).
Archwired (undated). Braces in the bedroom: Will braces affect your sex life? Located at: http://www.archwired.com/BracesandSex.htm
Streetsie (2011). Disability fetish and medical fetish. August 19. Located at: http://www.streetsie.com/disability-fetish-medical-fetish/
Nation Master (2013). Dental braces fetishism. Located at: http://www.nationmaster.com/encyclopedia/Dental-braces-fetishism
Redath (2011). Braces, headgear, facebow and other orthodontic devises. May 16. Located at: http://redath.blogspot.co.uk/2011/05/braces-headgear-facebow-and-other.html?zx=99f4d98c82b2557a
Wikipedia (2013). Medical fetishism. Located at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medical_fetishism
“I love the idea of being wheeled in my bed along the hospital corridors before bursting through the swing doors of the Anaesthetic Room. The lady anaethetist then smiles and tells me that she has decided to put me to sleep with the Gas. ‘NO! Not the Gas!’ The lady then insists by saying that it is her treat and that she has been looking forward to this moment! She smiles as she lowers the black rubbery mask and whispers, ‘Now just relax. IT’S TIME! Breathe in the Gas nice and deep. I look forward to seeing you struggle to keep your eyes open; but very soon you will succumb to the lovely Gas and you will have to close your eyes! Sleep well!’ She leans closer to me and laughs as I take deep breaths of the lovely Gas!!” (Participant at Sleep Peeps website).
In a previous blog, I examined medical fetishism that refers to an umbrella group of related sexual fetishes in which individuals derive sexual pleasure and arousal from medical and/or clinical practices and procedures (e.g., undergoing a rectal examination or urethral swab, having temperature taken), objects (e.g., stethoscope, hypodermic needle), situations (e.g., waiting to see a nurse), and environments (e.g., being in a hospital waiting room). One form of medical fetishism is anaesthesia fetishism in which individuals derive sexual pleasure and arousal from either administering and/or receiving some kind of anaesthetic such as chloroform, ether, butane, etc. As an entry in Wikipedia notes:
“This may include the sexual attraction to the equipment, processes, substances, effects, environments or situations. Sexual arousal from the desire to administer anesthesia, or the sexual desire for oneself to be anaesthetized are two forms in which an individual may exist as an arbiter of the fetish. Older-style anesthesia masks of black rubber, still in occasional use today, are one of the more common elements fetishized, and have earned the nickname Black Beauty by many fetishists…The Internet has enabled people with this relatively rare paraphilia to discuss the subject and exchange anesthesia-related multimedia”.
Back in 1999, I had my first ever article published on sexually paraphilic behaviour in the magazine Bizarre. It was an article on autoerotic deaths and it featured the cases of ten people who had died in strange sexual circumstances. One of the cases I featured was originally published in a 1988 issue of the American Journal of Forensic Medicine and Pathology (by Dr. J.J. McLennan and colleagues). The case involved a single 59-year old white US male antiques dealer. The man was found dead in his locked apartment. He was seated in front of a dental anaesthetic machine with the anaesthetic face-mask over his face. He was sucking on a rubber teat similar (but much bigger) than a baby’s feeding bottle. There were other anaesthetic machines around the apartment as well as a lot of sexual literature (magazines, photographs, paintings, manuscripts all concerned with his elaborate fetish some of which included photographs of himself in these situations). He was wearing a rubber type apron, three woolen cardigans, a woman’s blouse and two pairs of women’s trousers and a pair of women’s bloomers. This appeared to be a genuine case of anaesthesiophilia. (A similar case was also reported in 1988 the same journal by Dr. S. Leadbeatter. Here, the method of induction of cerebral hypoxia was inhalation of nitrous oxide [i.e., ‘laughing gas’] from a dental anesthetic machine).
In the same article I featured the case of a single 32-year old white US male computer programmer that was published in a 1983 issue of Medicine, Science and the Law (by Dr. S.M. Cordner). Here, the man was found dead in bed with cassette recorder next to him and covered in dry semen stains. He was wearing headphones which playing “snorting” horse sounds. There was also a can of aerosol propellant. At the end of the bed was a large painting of a male strapped to the hind legs of a horse who was being anally penetrating by the horse. The horse was ridden by a leather-clad woman. He was also wearing some kind if homemade masturbatory device. His death was recorded as cardio-respiratory failure consistent with aerosol propellant abuse (death by misadventure).
Although this case wasn’t technically anaesthesiophilia, it did involve self-administration of a chemical agent to modify the sensations of masturbation. However, in a 2009 book chapter on ‘adult sexual offences’ by Dr. Deborah Rogers (in the book Clinical Forensic Medicine), she seems to suggest that the case I have just described would be classed as anaesthesiophilia as she defines such a paraphilia as it involves the person using a volatile substance (e.g., chloroform, ether, butane) as a source of sexual arousal. She also points out the commonalities between anaesthesiophilia, hypoxyphilia (sexual arousal and pleasure from oxygen deprivation), and electrophilia (sexual arousal and pleasure from electricity and electric stimuli). More specifically she notes:
“Some sexual variations involve inherently life-threatening practices. These include autoerotic asphyxia (using strangulation, hanging, gagging, plastic bag asphyxia, inverted suspension), electrophilia and anaesthesiophilia. When accidental deaths do occur in these circumstances associated paraphernalia may be present at the scene, such as evidence of transvestism, bondage, pornographic material or mirrors. Family members or friends who discover the body in these situations may, in an attempt to preserve the reputation of the deceased, remove certain articles. In doing so they may create a scene erroneously considered a suicide or homicide. When the truth is divulged sympathetic explanations are necessary for reassurance that these deaths are usually accidental”.
Many of the same points were made by Dr. Stephen Hucker writing in a 2011 issue of the Archives of Sexual Behavior. Hucker compared electrophilia and hypoxyphilia and electrophilia with anaesthesiophilia. He also stated that all these behaviours have potential “to result in a well-recognized mode of accidental death” and come “under the general rubric of sexual masochism”.
Using Dr. Rogers’ wider definition of anaesthesiophilia indicates that the practice – while rare – is well known in the forensic literature where a number of autoerotic deaths have been reported as arising from the sexual use of volatile substances. One of the first such deaths reported in the literature dates back to a 1933 German report (by Dr. F. Schwarz). He recounted the case of a man who had used a complex system of valves, tubes, and balloons to get sexually aroused from nitrous oxide (stolen from his dad’s medical practice).
Another lethal German case from 1997 was reported by Dr. M. Rothschild and Dr. V. Schneider. Again, the source of sexual arousal was nitrous oxide (this time dispensed from cream dispenser cartridges via a homemade system of anesthetic tubes, plastic bags, and an anesthetic face mask. A paper by Dr. D. Breitmeier and colleagues in a 2002 issue of the Journal of Legal Medicine reported an autoerotic death of a man due to a bizarre combination of asphyxia by suffocation and intoxication with (the drug) ketamine that was self-administered by an intravenous catheter.
Dr. R.W. Byard and his colleagues also reported an unusual autoerotic death in a 2000 issue of the Journal of Clinical Forensic Medicine. They reported the case of a 38-year-old man who was “found dead in bed dressed in female clothing with a mouth gag, handcuffs and bindings around the genitals and limbs”. A gas mask respirator was also covering the mouth and nose and death was attributed to a combination of chloroform toxicity and upper-airway obstruction. Another autoerotic death involving chloroform was reported by Dr. Peter Singer and Dr. Graham Jones in a 2006 issue of the Journal of Analytical Toxicology.
“He was found lying on the floor of his apartment, prone on a piece of foam and a towel. His eyes were bound with a towel, his lower face and nose were almost entirely covered with duct tape surrounding a rubber hose in his mouth. The other end of the hose was loosely sitting inside an open bottle which was in a box beside him. He was bound-up by an intricate system of ropes, handles, and rods, ending with a noose around his neck”
Clearly, much of what we know about anaesthesiophilia appears to be based on case reports where the use of an anaesthetizing agent during the sexual act has gone horribly wrong. Most of the deaths occurred because the person appears to have been on their own and was presumably a masturbatory act. Engaging in the act where more than one person is present significantly reduces the chances of anything unwanted happening for the anaesthesiophile.
Breitmeier D., Passie, T., Mansouri, F., Albrecht, K, Kleemann, W.J. (2002) Autoerotic accident associated with self-applied ketamine. Journal of Legal Medicine, 116, 113-116.
Bungardt, N. & L. Pötsch, (2003). [Report on a methemoglobinemia associated death]. Archiv fur Kriminologie, 212, 176-183.
Byard, R.W., Kostakis, C., Pigou, P.E. & Gilbert, J.D. (2000). Volatile substance use in sexual asphyxia. Journal of Clinical Forensic Medicine, 7, 26-28.
Cordner, S.M. (1983). An unusual case of sudden death associated with masturbation. Medicine, Science and Law, 23, 54-56.
Griffiths, M.D. (1999). Dying for it: Autoerotic deaths Bizarre, 24, 62-65.
Hucker, S. (2011). Hypoxyphilia. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 40, 1323-1326.
Leadbeatter, S., (1988). Dental anesthetic death: An unusual autoerotic episode. American Journal of Forensic Medicine and Pathology, 9, 60-63.
McLennan, J.J., Sekula-Perlman, A., Lippstone, M.B. & Callery, R.T. (1998). Propane-associated autoerotic fatalities. American Journal of Forensic Medicine and Pathology, 19, 381-386.
Musshoff, F., Padosch, S.A., Kroener, L.A, et al., (2006). Accidental autoerotic death by volatile substance abuse or nonsexually motivated accidents? American Journal of Forensic Medicine and Pathology, 27, 188-192.
Rogers, D.J. (2009). Adult sexual offences. In McLay, W.D.S. (Ed.). Clinical Forensic Medicine (3rd Edition, pp. 137-154). Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
Rothschild, M.A. & Schneider, V. (1997). Uber zwei autoerotische Unf T Lachgasnarkose und Thoraxkompression. Archiv fur Kriminologie, 200, 65-72.
Schwarz, F. (1933). T Lachgasvergiftung bei Selbstnarkose. Archiv fur Kriminologie, 93, 215-217.
Singer, P.P. & Jones, G.R. (2006). An unusual autoerotic fatality associated with chloroform inhalation. Journal of Analytical Toxicology, 30, 216-218.
Stemberga, V., Bralić, M., Bosnar, A. & Coklo M. (2007). Propane-associated autoerotic asphyxiation: accident or suicide? Collegium Antropologicum, 31, 625-627.
Thibault R, Spencer JD, Bishop JW, Hibler NS (1984) An unusual autoerotic death: asphyxia with an abdominal ligature. Journal of Forensic Science, 29, 679-684.
Wikipedia (2012). Medical fetishism. Located at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medical_fetishism
In previous blogs I have examined a number of fetishes and sexual paraphilias related to human body hair including trichophilia/hirsutophilia (sexual arousal for hair, usually head hair), pogonophilia (sexual arousal from beards), and haircut fetishism (sexual arousal from seeing someone get their haircut either voluntary or through coercion). Another sub-type of trichophilia is men that get sexual pleasure and arousal from women that are abnormally hairy (including but not limited to overly hairy pubic hair, underarm hair, hairy arms, hairy legs, and hair around nipples). As far as I am aware, there is no academic research on this topic although a quick Google search with the term ‘hairy women’ reveals dozens of websites catering for (presumably) men that get their sexual kicks from hirsute women.
Other required viewing would no doubt include the television documentary F*** Off, I’m A Hairy Woman (first screened in 2007). The programme was hosted by female stand-up comic and Guardian newspaper columnist Shazia Mirza, and its focus was body image and stereotypes about women’s androgenic hair. The programme followed Shazia Mirza over a six-month period in which she let all her body hair grow for six months. As the Wikipedia entry on the show noted:
“Her introduction posed the question, ‘what would it be like if we lived in a world where beautiful women were allowed to be hairy?’ To find out, [Mirza] decided to take the plunge and grow out [her] body hair. Can [she] learn to love it, and can [she] convince the rest of the world to love it too? After six months, she advertised for other hairy women to put on a catwalk show, wearing lingerie made of body hair designed and made by artist Tracey Moberly”.
There are a few online articles about some men’s love of hairy women including a 2010 Ezine Article on ‘Men looking for a hairy woman – tips on how to find them’ (and is actually about how hairy women can date men rather than vice-versa). The author – Angelina Andrews – claims that on most internet polls ‘hirsute fetishes’ are among the top ten most popular male fetishes. While I don’t dispute this, most of this relates to general ‘hair on head’ fetishism rather than hirsute female fetishism more specifically. The article claims:
“Most [hairy] women like yourself will be tempted to join a ‘hairy dating’ website. I would strongly advise against it. These sites actually have very few members right now. Most people with a fetish for female hair tend to just join conventional dating sites. You will also find that these sites for hirsute lady lovers are overly pricey. Most men have no idea about hairy dating sites. They tend to join huge dating communities. This is where you should join too…These popular sites have advanced profile matching technology. What this means is they tend to match your profile with people who might be interested in it. All you have to do is write down that you have body hair and you would love to meet a male hirsute fetishist. On most sites this will be enough to send your profile to relevant men”.
In the name of academic research I went searching on the internet for evidence (outside of pornographic videos) to see if there were individuals that claimed to be sexually aroused by female body hair. Below are typical extracts various online forums from both men that claim to have a fetish for female body hair and from women that have dated men with a fetish for female body hair:
- Extract 1: “My boyfriend has a fetish for hairy women? Is this normal? He is also trying to convince me to let all my body hair grow. Should I do it?”
- Extract 2: “I am a 31-year-old male with a fetish for very hairy women”
- Extract 3: “I always had a fetish for hairy women. [I] was wondering if any other guys out there like me. I would really like to meet and perhaps date a girl who’s hairy or hirsute. It’s just really hard to find someone like that – especially since everyone today is smooth like a little girl. If you’re out there, then message me please. I am 20 [years old]”
- Extract 4: “I have had guys tell me about some crazy fetishes in my life. I even had a few guys – American and European mainly – tell me they don’t mind their girl being hairy. Some find it sexy! I have some comfort in knowing that men still find me beautiful even in knowing about my flaws! But it is still an odd fetish but different strokes for different folks, I guess! I even Googled the term and found a LOT of fetish/porn photos of hairy women. Not sure how I feel about it yet”
- Extract 5: “Any fetish makes me feel objectified…I’ve met a couple of guys who i suspect had a hair fetish, my arms were all they could look at, talk about and lust after, wanting to touch them when I had just met them, I had to slap their hands away to keep them from touching my arms. I normally feel whatever floats your boat as long as everybody is happy, but they make me feel so uncomfortable to be objectifying something that is part of a medical condition I have been fighting so long [i.e., polycystic ovary syndrome that results in high levels of male hormones in the body]. I’m self-conscious about my extra hair…[and] I don’t want somebody worshiping the very things I would change about my body. But if two people enjoy somebodies fetish together that’s ok, it’s just not for me. When guys show up here to talk about their fetish it really ticks me off”
- Extract 6: “I love hair on women. Not necessarily on the legs, but I love a hairy crotch and hairy armpits. I know hairy is a fetish in porn a lot, but it doesn’t seem any other people I know share this ‘fetish’. I actually made one of my ex-girlfriends grow hers out because it was shaven. Then she shaved it back and I got really pissed off”
Although there is little detail in these extracts (and I can’t ensure the veracity of such claims), they suggest that (i) there are males out there that are sexually aroused by hairy women, (ii) that such males appear to be in young adulthood (in their twenties and thirties), (iii) that women that are the subject of such desires may not like to be objectified in such a way, and (iv) that it may be culturally determined (such as coming from Europe or America). All of this is (of course) highly speculative and given that there is unlikely to be a great surge of interest academically to research the topic, I can’t see ‘the facts’ becoming any clearer anytime soon.
Dr. Mark Griffiths, Professor of Gambling Studies, International Gaming Research Unit, Nottingham Trent University, Nottingham, UK
Andrews, A. (2010). Men looking for a hairy woman – tips on how to find them. Ezine Articles, November 16. Located at: http://ezinearticles.com/?Men-Looking-For-A-Hairy-Woman—Tips-To-Find-Them!&id=5393555
Bindel, J. (2010). Women: Embrace your facial hair. The Guardian, August 20. http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/aug/20/women-facial-hair
Goulian, J-J. (2014). In defense of hairy women: Searching for a fair standard of beauty. Vice, February 11. http://www.vice.com/read/in-defense-of-hairy-women-0000222-v21n2
Love, B. (2001). Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices. London: Greenwich Editions.
Wikipedia (2014). F*** Off, I’m A Hairy Woman. Located at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F***_Off,_I’m_a_Hairy_Woman
In previous blogs I have covered a number of different topics relating to various human behaviours involving blood including haematophagia (the eating and/or drinking of blood products), haemolacria (the crying of blood), clinical vampirism as a sexual paraphilia, and menophilia (sexual arousal from women menstruating). Today’s blog adds to the list by taking a brief look at sex and nosebleeds (medically known as epistaxis).
There are many causes of nosebleeds. The two most common are nose picking and being exposed to dry air for long periods. Other reasons include having high blood pressure, having a cold or flu, allergic rhinitis (nose allergies), acute sinusitis, heavy alcohol use, being exposed to chemical irritants, being on certain medications (such as blood thinners and non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs), nose trauma, cocaine use, and haemophilia. Added to this, there is plenty of anecdotal evidence of people claiming to get nosebleeds during vigorous sex.
However, an article in Culture Smash by Brian Ashcroft quoted an otolaryngologist, Dr. Kouichirou Kanaya (an ear, nose, and throat specialist) who was quoted as saying:
“The notion that sexual arousal causes the heart rate and blood pressure to rise is something that’s a well documented fact; however, in actuality, sexual arousal and bloody noses have no direct connection”
However, while researching this article I came across a number of medical papers showing that there is one area where nosebleeds have been related to sexual activity. More specifically, there have been a number of cases in the literature where men taking sildenafil (Viagra) and/or tadalafil (Cialis) have had nosebleeds during sex. For instance, Dr. L.A. Hicklin and colleagues reported two cases in a 2002 issue of the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine. These are reported verbatim below followed by a 2006 case by Dr. G. Pomara and colleagues in the International Journal of Impotence Research, and a 2005 case by Dr. H. Ismail and Dr. P.G. Harries in the journal Acta oto-laryngologica:
- Case 1: “A man in his late 50s was admitted from the emergency department with heavy prolonged epistaxis…During the admission the patient volunteered that, in the hours before his first nose-bleed, he had been engaging in energetic sexual activity. To enhance his sexual performance he had taken 50 mg sildenafil. Over the subsequent few days he had had several short but heavy epistaxes, and on the day of admission bleeding had continued for 6 hours without stopping. With packing and bed rest the bleeding gradually settled and he was discharged after six days”.
- Case 2: “A man in his early 70s was admitted from the emergency department after 5 hours of epistaxis. He had taken sildenafil to enhance his sexual performance in the morning before his epistaxis…This was his first nose-bleed requiring medical attention…[After] two days and he was discharged home with no further epistaxis”.
- Case 3: “A 32-year-old male presented to our department for recurrent epistaxis during sexual intercourses…During the consultation, he volunteered that the trigger for the epistaxis appeared to have been misuse of phosphodiesterase (PDE)-5 inhibitors, Viagra and Cialis. This first report of epistaxis after PDE-5 inhibitors in a young patient underline the possibility that in the next years the number of similar cases might increase due to the diffusion of PDE-5 inhibitor misuse in recreational settings”.
- Case 4: “A 66-year-old male presented to our department with recurrent epistaxis. On examination it was not possible to identify the source of the bleeding, despite various measures…During a consultation the patient volunteered that the trigger for the epistaxis appeared to have been energetic sexual activity. To enhance his sexual performance he had taken Viagra; however, on stopping the Viagra and changing to the newer drug Cialis, the episodes of epistaxis continued. We document what we believe to be the first case of epistaxis caused by Cialis”.
So why would Viagra and Cialis cause nosebleeds? Given that these medications help engorge erectile tissue, the nose also contains erectile tissue and the authors of these case reports believe that nasal engorgement also took place and lead to the nosebleeds. The phenomenon may be under-reported because individuals that use Viagra to enhance their sex lives may be too embarrassed to discuss this with doctors if it relates to sexual dysfunction. (I also came across a case report in a 2009 issue of the Indian Journal of Chest Diseases and Allied Sciences by Dr. R. Dixit and colleagues of a 38-year old man persistently coughing up of blood [haemoptysis] whenever he used Viagra during sex).
Another interesting angle on sexual nosebleeds comes from Japanese cartoon animation (and more specifically Manga comics). In an online article entitled ‘Nosebleeds: Manga just wouldn’t be the same without them’, the author argues that Manga cartoons contain a number of specific tropes (i.e., a significant or recurrent theme). These tropes (amongst others) included nosebleeds, sweat drops, snot bubbles, and popping veins. Sexual nosebleeds were the number one trope in the article. The article noted that:
“A nosebleed, in the wonderful world of manga, equates to sexual arousal. I saw this trope for the first time in Dragonball, when Bulma lifts her dress and the lecherous Master Roshi spurts blood from his nose. Although Bulma was commando at the time, nosebleeds can be triggered by seeing something as mild as a pair of panties. In the case of the boy in the following image, it seems his bloody nose was triggered more by a fetish for swimsuits rather than the girl wearing them: Clearly, horn dogs don’t spontaneously get nosebleeds in real life. So why is it so in manga? I think it’s generally accepted that a rush of blood to the head and the resulting nosebleed is a visual metaphor for blood rushing to, er, somewhere else – which probably explains why I’ve only ever seen guys get nosebleeds, although I could be wrong about that”.
I’ve never watched a full Manga cartoon in my life but from everything I’ve read, male nosebleeds are common cliché in anime cartoons and are known as ‘hanaji’. According to the online Urban Dictionary, hanaji is “when you see a boy get a nosebleed in anime, [and] usually means his blood pressure has suddenly severely increased from seeing a really cute girl”. In an article by Brian Ashcroft for Culture Smash, he also noted the nosebleed trope in Manga cartoons:
“A character, male or female, gets excited—often sexually excited. Blood dribbles, or squirts, out of the character’s nose. The notion that arousal or excitement induces bloody noses…isn’t just part of anime or manga iconography. It’s also become an old wives’ tale of sorts…The trope is very much a Japanese one, appearing throughout the country’s popular culture and with various nuances in anime and manga. It is not a new trope and has existed for years…Manga artist Yasuji Tanioka is believed to be the first one to introduce the motif with his early 1970s manga Yasuji no Mettameta Gaki Dou Kouza. Other manga artists liked the expression and began replicating it in their own work”.
In relation to the nosebleed trope in anime cartoons, Dr. Kouichirou Kanaya (the ear, nose, and throat specialist quoted above) speculated that:
“Bloody noses are probably used to show in a powerful way just how excessively large the change induced by sexual arousal is. It’s a climax, and in manga, it often seems to be code for ejaculation”.
There are also anecdotal cases of nosebleed fetishes (called epistaxiophilia). However, the love of nosebleeds appears to have been created by using the name of nosebleed phobia (epistaxiophobia) and changing the suffix ‘phobia’ for ‘philia’. To my knowledge, there has never been an academic paper or clinical case study published on epistaxiophilia. However, I did come across a number of online confessions of individuals that admitted (if they are true) that they were sexually aroused by nosebleeds. Here are some extracts that I found in various online forums:
- Extract 1: “Was just reading a thread on r/Askmen about men who get nosebleeds during sex. My brain processed SEX and NOSEBLEEDS and I immediately imagined myself riding a guy home when he suddenly got a nose bleed. I was strangely turned on by that idea. I don’t think I’d be comfortable sharing this newly discovered turn on with any of my friends because I feel like it’s so damn weird” (Female, Reddit, AskWomen forum)
- Extract 2: “Nosebleed fetish? Does anyone have it? I normally don’t like blood but I find nosebleeds really hot. I wouldn’t ever hurt my loved one, but I have to admit that I’m quite aggressive towards normal people because of it” (Inwealorwoe [Male], Yahoo! Answers)
- Extract 3: “I’ll completely understand and I won’t take offense if you run from this post flailing and gagging…For the longest time, I’ve had a nosebleed Maybe that links to the fact that I’ve also got haematophilia and a vampire fetish. But you know what I really like? When someone sneezes while they have a nosebleed” (Proclaimer, Female, 21 years old)
- Extract 4: “I think it’s incredibly sexy when a guy has a nosebleed. Sneezing while having a nosebleed. I would agree that nosebleeds are probably a turn-on for me because of the whole vulnerability/loss of control factor. Same as with sneezing and colds and things like that” (Helter Skelter, female, 19 years old)
- Extract 5: “I actually do have a blood/vampire fetish. I often find myself getting very thirsty as well as aroused when watching vampires feed in movies. However I don’t really find nosebleeds all that appealing. I’m not disgusted by it or anything, but it just wouldn’t really do anything for me. I guess it’s just not the type of bleeding that I’m attracted to. I can see how it might be appealing to others though” (Shayla, female 31 years)
Obviously I cannot vouch for the veracity of these claims but I have no reason to doubt them (and the final extract liked other blood fetishes but not a nosebleed fetish). There is no detail in any of these extracts to speculate as to why anyone develops a fetish to nosebleeds. However I’ll leave you with a reply to the person in Extract 2 above:
“[Nose bleed fetishes] makes sense. A sexual therapist said that our sexual fantasies are derived from non-sexual things in our life. So your fetish for nosebleeds could actually stem from something non-sexual in your life. For example, it probably turns you on because it makes you feel empowered and aggressive, since if the person you are with has a nosebleed it means you must have been rough with them. So I would say that your fetish is probably normal, because many people are turned on by feeling empowered and aggressive. Sounds normal to me” (The Way It Is, Yahoo! Answers)”.
Dr. Mark Griffiths, Professor of Gambling Studies, International Gaming Research Unit, Nottingham Trent University, Nottingham, UK
Ashcroft, B. (2012). Sexual arousal doesn’t cause bloody noses, says medical science! Culture Smash, October 19. Located at: http://kotaku.com/5953124/sexual-arousal-doesnt-cause-bloody-noses-says-medical-science
Dixit, R., Jakhmola, P., Sharma, S., Arya, M., & Parmej, A. R. (2009). Recurrent haemoptysis following sildenafil administration. Indian Journal of Chest Diseases and Allied Sciences, 15, 119-120.
Hicklin, L.A., Ryan, C., Wong, D.K.K., & Hinton, A.E. (2002). Nose-bleeds after sildenafil (Viagra). Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine, 95(8), 402-403.
Ismail, H., & Harries, P. G. (2005). Recurrent epistaxis after treatment with tadalafil (Cialis). Acta oto-laryngologica, 125(3), 334-335.
Pomara, G., Morelli, G., Menchini-Fabris, F., Dinelli, N., Campo, G., LiGuori, G., & Selli, C. (2006). Epistaxis after PDE-5 inhibitors misuse. International Journal of Impotence Research, 18(2), 213-214.
“I love hot wax. My wife loves to drip it and pour it all over my body. I have dipped my [penis] in the wax and the feeling during the dipping and the sex after was great. We did remove the wax from any part that was going to penetrate. I have a very high threshold for pain. I normally don’t use any painkillers for such things as root canal’s, extractions, stitches or road rash from motorcycle accidents. I don’t get turned on in the slightest from any of this I just don’t feel pain like everyone else. I think it is very normal to have this fetish. It is a major turn on to me. You might want to experiment with different types of wax. Some have a higher melting point than others. Oh we have and have realized she likes to use the waxes with the higher melting points. She loves to see me squirm but in a good way” (Wiki Answers)
According to Dr. Anil Aggrawal in his 2009 book Forensic and Medico-legal Aspects of Sexual Crimes and Unusual Sexual Practices ‘wax play’ is a form of sexually sensual play that involves warm or hot wax typically dripped from candles or ladled onto the individual’s naked skin (the individual typically being sexually masochistic). He also claimed that wax play was often combined with other BDSM and/or sexual activities. Dr. Aggrawal also makes reference to ‘wax play’ in a short section on ‘navel torture’. More specifically her reports that navel torture involves “infliction of intense sensory stimulation and pain to a person’s navel. Examples are sucking or pulling the navel out (often with a syringe), dripping hot oil or wax into the navel, and poking pins into the navel”. The Wikipedia entry on wax play provides a list for those that want to attempt such practices. The article informed readers that:
“Pure paraffin wax melts at around 130 to 135 degrees Fahrenheit (54 to 57 Celsius). Adding stearine makes the wax harder and melt at a higher temperature. Adding mineral oil makes the wax softer and melt at a lower temperature. Soft candles in glass jars usually have mineral oil in their blend and burn cooler at around 120 degrees Fahrenheit (49C), Pillar candles are mostly paraffin and burn warmer at around 140 degrees Fahrenheit (60C). Taper candles have lots of stearine and burn hotter still at around 160 degrees Fahrenheit (71C). Beeswax candles burn about 10 degrees Fahrenheit (6 C) hotter than equivalent paraffin candles. Although there are many web sites that repeat the same advice that color additives make candles burn hotter, actual experiments performed by two different researchers show that this is usually not the case. Increasing the distance the wax falls by 1 meter will drop the temperature about 5 degrees Fahrenheit (3C) at the risk of splatter. If ordinary candles are too hot, a special wax blend with a high concentration of mineral oil can be heated to lower temperatures in a crock pot or double boiler”.
In the ‘safety notes’ section, the article reminds readers that wax temperature can range from simply ‘warm’ to ‘dangerously hot’ and can cause serious burns (and that wax play practitioners should be careful that wax doesn’t “splatter into the eyes”. Obviously, different masochists can withstand different temperatures depending upon their individual tolerance levels. It then goes on to say that:
“Wax may be difficult to remove, particularly from areas with hair. A flea comb or a sharp knife may be necessary for wax removal; use of a knife for this purpose requires special skills, though a plastic card can work as well. Applying mineral oil or lotion before play can make wax removal easier…Wax heated in any sort of pot must be stirred vigorously or there can be dangerous temperature variations. Some people may be allergic to perfumes and dyes. Whatever is above a burning candle can get very hot, even at distances that may be surprising. Candles may break and set fire to objects underneath or nearby. Wax is difficult to wash out of clothes and bed linens. People with certain diseases, skin conditions, or taking certain medications may require additional precautions”.
A few academic studies into sadomasochism have examined various niche practices including wax play. For instance, in a previous blog on psychrocism (individuals who derive sexual pleasure and sexual arousal from either by being cold) I quoted from Brenda Love’s Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices that said:
“Exposure to intense cold creates a sharp sensation that is similar to other physical stimuli that produce tension. The mind changes its focus from intellectual pursuits to physical awareness. Many [sadomasochistic] players use cold contact to heighten awareness of skin sensations. They often alternate cold with heat, such as ice cubes and candle wax”.
More empirically, a 1987 study published in the Journal of Sex Research by Dr. Charles Moser and Dr. E.E. Levitt surveyed 225 sadomasochists (178 men and 47 women). The most commonly reported SM behaviours (in 50% to 80% of participants) were flagellation (whipping, spanking) and bondage (chains, rope, gags, chains, handcuffs). Painful activities (for instance, the use of hot wax, ice, face slapping, biting) were reported by 37–41% of participants, though more dangerous painful activities (burning, branding, tattooing, piercing, insertion of pins) were much less frequently reported (7% to 18% of participants).
A more recent Finnish study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior by Dr. Laurence Alison and his colleagues reported fairly similar findings to that of Moser and Levitt. Again, the most popular activities were flagellation and bondage. Less reported SM activities were the most harmful harm (piercing, asphyxiation, electric shocks, use of blades/knives, fisting, etc.). These researchers also explored the variations in sadomasochistic activities, and wax play fell into the ‘typical’ pain administration group. These were:
- Typical pain administration: This involved practices such as spanking, caning, whipping, skin branding, use of hot wax, electric shocks, etc.
- Humiliation: This involved verbal humiliation, gagging, face slapping, flagellation, etc. Heterosexuals were more likely than gay men to engage in these types of activity.
- Physical restriction: This included bondage, use of handcuffs, use of chains, wrestling, use of ice, wearing straight jackets, hypoxyphilia, and mummifying.
- Hyper-masculine pain administration: This involved rimming, dildo use, cock binding, being urinated upon, being given an enema, fisting, being defecated upon, and catheter insertion. Gay men were more likely than heterosexuals to engage in these types of activity.
A 2002 follow-up study by the same team on the same sample of sadomasochists (also in the Archives of Sexual Behavior led by Dr. Pekka Santtila) reported that 35% of their participants had engaged in hot wax play. From these few studies it would appear that wax play among SM practitioners is relatively prevalent although there appear to be few data about how regularly wax play is engaged in.
Alison, L., Santtila, P., Sandnabba, N.K., & Nordling, N. (2001). Sadomasochistically oriented behavior: Diversity in practice and meaning. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 30, 1-12.
Love, B. (2001). Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices. London: Greenwich Editions.
Moser, C. & Levitt, E.E. (1987). An exploratory descriptive study of a sadomasochistically oriented sample. Journal of Sex Research, 23, 322–337.
Norische (2008). Candlelight moments: Basics of wax play. Idaho BDSM. Located at: http://www.idahobdsm.com/articles/howto/waxplay.html
Safer+Saner (2006). Wax play. Located at: http://www.safersaner.org/Safer_WaxPlay.html
Sandnabba, N.K., Santtila, P., Alison, L., & Nordling, N. (2002). Demographics, sexual behaviour, family background and abuse experiences of practitioners of sadomasochistic sex: A review of recent research. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 17, 39-55.
Spectrum (2004). The Toybag Guide to Hot Wax and Temperature Play. Emeryville, California: Greenery Press.
Wikipedia (2014). Wax play. Located at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wax_play
In a previous blog, I briefly looked at salirophilia – sometimes called saliromania – a sexual paraphilia in which individuals experience sexual arousal from soiling or disheveling the object of their desire (typically an attractive person). I noted in that blog that salirophilia is related to other fetishes and paraphilias such as ‘sploshing’ (deriving sexual pleasure from wet substances – but not bodily fluids – being deliberately and generously applied to either naked or scantily clad individuals) and sometimes referred to as ‘wet and messy’ (WAM) fetishism or ‘wamplay’. The word ‘sploshing’ is thought to have been derived from the UK-based fetish magazine Splosh! that began publishing in 1989, ran for 40 issues, and featured stories and photographs of women is messy situations.
In 2005, ‘wamplay’ made the news here in the UK when Bernard Bertola, a teacher from Halifax in West Yorkshire was given a two-year conditional registration order for searching for WAM-related terms on one of the school computers where he worked. As an article by Brian Coates in the Halifax Evening Courier noted:
“A school’s former head of IT has been disciplined for watching bizarre internet porn where women were covered in beans, spaghetti, pies and trifles. Bernard Bertola, who taught for nearly 20 years at Hipperholme and Lightcliffe High School, was found guilty of unacceptable professional conduct by the General Teaching Council. He was given a two-year conditional registration order, which means he can remain on the register of teachers but must adhere to conditions. Bertola used a school computer to view Internet sites such as ‘Messy and Wet’, ‘Gunge Tank’’ and ‘Messy Mania’…The council said he had knowingly accessed sites inappropriate for a school environment. ‘If he hadn’t expected sexual images you would not expect to see words such as ‘sexy blonde actress gets pie after pie’, said presenting officer Bradley Albuery. An IT manager had spotted Bertola viewing food fetish websites in June 2003 from a monitoring computer in another room”.
Interestingly, this news story also mentions Bertola’s viewing of food fetish sites. Food fetishes and paraphilias (i.e., sitophilia) are different from wamplay (and was a topic I examined in a previous blog). However, there are clearly behavioural (and possibly psychological) overlaps between the two fetishistic behaviours.
As far as I am aware, there has been no empirical or clinical research published concerning WAM fetishes. Dr. Katharine Gates in her 2000 book Deviant Desires: Incredibly Strange Sex notes that individuals who are into WAM fetishes derive sexual arousal from substances that are deliberately and generously applied onto their (or others’) naked skin, predominantly the face, or onto people’s clothes while they are still wearing them. According to the Wikipedia entry on WAM fetishes, the messy substances typically used in such encounters include various foodstuffs (custard, ice cream, ketchup, whipped cream, baked beans, liquid puddings, chocolate sauce, peanut butter, cake batter, etc.), drinking beverages (e.g., milk, fruit juices, beers, etc.) and/or other non-foodstuffs (e.g., shaving foam, mud, paint, oil, gunge, slime, Japanese style lotion, etc.). There are many other substances (mostly foodstuffs) that I have come across being mentioned and/or used on other WAM websites including honey, marshmellow spread, chocolate spread, mousses (edible and non-edible), jelly, meringue, lard, margarine, and butter.
An important thing to note in relation to WAM fetishes is that they do not involve body fluids as such bodily substances are part of other distinct sexual paraphilias such as coprophilia (faeces), urophilia (urine), lactophilia (breast milk), menohilia (menstruated blood), and emetophilia (vomit). The Wikipedia entry also notes:
“Videos of the fetish made by both fans and companies can be seen frequently on YouTube. Some of these videos are flagged, but most of them remain available despite the sexual undertones, mainly because a large majority of wet and messy videos on the site do not include nudity and are therefore safe for all audiences to view”.
I also came across an online posting that featured lots of information about lots of sexual fetishes and paraphilias that included some information on ‘wamming’ that I have not come across anywhere else. I reproduce it here but cannot vouch for the veracity of the information as there are no supporting references (however, the information had good face validity which is why I thought I would include it in this blog):
“Body painting, whipped cream licking, and food fighting are milder forms of wamming. The goal is usually to find common household items that are slippery, edible, and don’t stain or sting the skin. Jello stains, for example, while pudding doesn’t. Margarine is better than butter, for example, because butter and milk products stink on the skin. Alcohol and sugar products should be kept away from the vaginal area. Trash bags or dropcloths are usually placed on the floor, and shaved pubic hair is often a prerequisite. Wamming can be done with one sexual partner at a time or in orgy fashion, although most wammers prefer one partner at a time. The appeal is that it stimulates all five senses at the same time”.
The Seattle-based journalist Dan Savage who used to have a newspaper column related to strange sexual behaviour (and who I mentioned in previous blogs on pregnancy fetishism and sexual urtication) also briefly covered WAM-related sexual behaviour in a letter he was sent by one of his readers. The letter read:
“My roommate uses condiments to lubricate his penis when he beats off. He tries to be sneaky when he takes mayonnaise or ketchup out of the kitchen, but I’ve seen him do it. When he does, a rhythmic slurping sound can soon be heard over the radio that he only turns up loud when he beats off. I am seriously disgusted because he puts the condiments back into the refrigerator when he’s finished…How do I make him stop?”
Savage’s reply was hardly the most serious, but it did at least acknowledge that this sort of behaviour appears to be one of a WAM fetishist as he replied:
“If you just want to make him stop, SS, I suggest you empty a bottle of Tabasco sauce into the bottle of ketchup in your fridge, or a few tubes of BenGay into your mayonnaise. That will put a stop to his condiment abuse. Or you can be a man about it…and tell him to go buy some actual lube or, if he’s a wet-and-messy fetishist, suggest that he buy himself play-time-only condiments and keep ’em in a small fridge in his room”.
Whether WAM fetishes ever become the subject of serious academic research is debatable (probably not) but that doesn’t mean they are not of psychological interest. As with most fetishistic behaviours, my guess is that most wammers’ behaviour will have been reinforced via classical and/or operant conditioning experienced in childhood or adolescence. I would be also interested to know what other fetishistic behaviours co-occur with sploshing (e.g., sitophilia, salirophilia).
Caotes, B. (2005). Teachers naked women and beans. Halifax Evening Courier, February 4. Located at: http://www.halifaxcourier.co.uk/news/local/teacher-s-naked-women-and-beans-1-1959014
Gates, K. (2000). Deviant Desires: Incredibly Strange Sex. New York: RE/Search Publications.
Savage, D. (2004). Savage Love: With a Bang. The Stranger, September 9. Located at: http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/savage-love/Content?oid=19248
Wikipedia (2013). Splosh! Located at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Splosh!
Wikipedia (2013). Wet and messy fetishism. Located at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wet_and_messy_fetishism