Giving someone the hot shoulder: Omosophilia and the naming of a new paraphilia

While researching previous blogs on sexual piggybacking and ‘lift and carry’ fetishism, I noticed that when the words ‘shoulder’ and ‘fetish’ were in the same Google search, I came across a number of discussion sites where people were discussing their fetishes for shoulders. Here are a few of the cases that I came across:

  • Extract 1 (male): “I’ve never been into women wearing make-up, loads of perfume, and all that jazz, but for some reason, seeing the bare shoulders of a woman really makes me excited. Not that I want to have sex with the shoulders, but that they simply look hot, sort of like the way most men view breasts. Is this normal, psychologically?”
  • Extract 2 (male): “I love a woman’s exposed shoulders. I’m very attracted to them, my major turn on. I love how they look [and] how they feel. Talking about their shoulders really turns me on”
  • Extract 3 (male): “I also get turned on by the sight of a woman’s bare shoulders. That is why I love to see women in tank tops, halter tops, sleeveless tops, and off-the-shoulder tops (my favorite)”
  • Extract 4 (male): “Broad shoulders are a pretty common turn on for women anyway”.
  • Extract 5 (male): I’m not into panties, lingerie, or wearing make up, but I’ve always had an attraction to sexy female tops. I have always had a fetish about seeing a woman’s bare shoulders and got off many times fantasizing about them. Not taking it a step further, I’ve always loved wearing female sleeveless blouses and tops. I know they make tank tops for guys, but it’s not the same thrill as wearing a woman’s black, sleeveless, turtleneck jersey. I also enjoy wearing halter tops, tube tops, camies, one-shoulder tanks, and leotards, which I wear openly at the gym. I never feel as liberated as when I’m out in public with my shoulders bare. I’ve never met anyone else who’s into this with whom I could share my fantasy. But I would like to hear from anybody who is, be it man or woman, who may also have this fetish”
  • Extract 6 (male): “I have a fetish of girls sitting on my shoulders…I’ve loved this ever since I can remember…even before I knew what sex was. I have a female friend, and one time me, her, and one of her friends were walking through a field at night, and her friend said she was afraid of getting ticks and asked to sit on my shoulders. I lifted her up, and after awhile she started like bossing me around, telling me where to stand, etc…I enjoyed this. Is this fetish healthy? Sometimes I wonder if I let people push me around in life because of this fetish”
  • Extract 7 (male): I find a sexual partner’s shoulders really arousing, on both men and women. Am I in the minority or is it pretty normal?”
  • Extract 8 (male): This will probably sound strange, but I have a shoulder fetish. A beautiful girl, in a cute pose, with her shoulder exposed, absolutely makes my heart race”

Admittedly, there is little detail in these extracts and I have no way of knowing to what extent any of the extracts I have selected are truthful (although I have no reason to suspect anyone was lying). As there is little detail here, there was almost nothing on how the interest developed apart from Extract 6 where the interest in shoulders was more to do with the act of a female sitting on his shoulders rather than fetishizing the shoulders themselves. Here, the fetish (if it really is a fetish) is more akin to ‘lift and carry’ fetishes with overtones of sexual masochism (i.e., being bossed around by a female and getting a sexual thrill from it).

All of the extracts were from males (presumably heterosexual apart from Extract 5 who may be bisexual and/or a transvestite based on the small amount of information provided). Although I could reasonably conclude that shoulder fetishes are primarily male-based, I did deliberately include the comment made by a male in Extract 4 who pointed out that women often remark on the sexiness and attractiveness of men that have broad shoulders. This observation made the implied point that it is almost the norm for some women to find men’s shoulders a sexual turn-on but may be rare for men to comment on the attractiveness of women’s shoulders. Basically, when women talk about the attractiveness of men’s shoulders it is normalized whereas when men talk about the attractiveness of women’s shoulders it is fetishized.

As far as I am aware, not only is there no academic or clinical research on the topic of shoulder fetishes, but there aren’t even any articles (this I believe is the first ever article on the topic). There was nothing between ‘shaving’ and ‘showers’ in Dr. Brenda Love’s Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices and nothing in Dr. Anil Aggrawal’s Forensic and Medico-legal Aspects of Sexual Crimes and Unusual Sexual Practices. Shoulders weren’t even mentioned in the list of fetishized body parts in Dr. C. Scorolli and colleagues’ excellent paper on the prevalence of fetishes in their 2007 paper in the International Journal of Impotence Research (a study I have cited countless times in relation to my blogs on other sexualized body parts). Given the complete lack of scientific study relating to shoulder fetishes I have decided to name a new paraphilia based on traditional nosology using the Greek words for ‘shoulder’ (omos) and ‘love’ (philia) – thus this ‘new’ paraphilia is called omosophilia (not to be confused with ‘osmophilia’ – where individuals derive sexual pleasure from certain smells and odours).

Dr Mark Griffiths, Professor of Behavioural Addiction, International Gaming Research Unit, Nottingham Trent University, Nottingham, UK

Further reading

Aggrawal A. (2009). Forensic and Medico-legal Aspects of Sexual Crimes and Unusual Sexual Practices. Boca Raton: CRC Press.

Gates, K. (2000). Deviant desires: Incredibly strange sex. New York: Juno Books.

Love, B. (2001). Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices. London: Greenwich Editions.

Scorolli, C., Ghirlanda, S., Enquist, M., Zattoni, S. & Jannini, E.A. (2007). Relative prevalence of different fetishes. International Journal of Impotence Research, 19, 432-437.

About drmarkgriffiths

Professor MARK GRIFFITHS, BSc, PhD, CPsychol, PGDipHE, FBPsS, FRSA, AcSS. Dr. Mark Griffiths is a Chartered Psychologist and Professor of Behavioural Addiction at the Nottingham Trent University, and Director of the International Gaming Research Unit. He is internationally known for his work into gambling and gaming addictions and has won many awards including the American 1994 John Rosecrance Research Prize for “outstanding scholarly contributions to the field of gambling research”, the 1998 European CELEJ Prize for best paper on gambling, the 2003 Canadian International Excellence Award for “outstanding contributions to the prevention of problem gambling and the practice of responsible gambling” and a North American 2006 Lifetime Achievement Award For Contributions To The Field Of Youth Gambling “in recognition of his dedication, leadership, and pioneering contributions to the field of youth gambling”. His most recent award is the 2013 Lifetime Research Award from the US National Council on Problem Gambling. He has published over 600 research papers, four books, over 130 book chapters, and over 1000 other articles. He has served on numerous national and international committees (e.g. BPS Council, BPS Social Psychology Section, Society for the Study of Gambling, Gamblers Anonymous General Services Board, National Council on Gambling etc.) and is a former National Chair of Gamcare. He also does a lot of freelance journalism and has appeared on over 2000 radio and television programmes since 1988. In 2004 he was awarded the Joseph Lister Prize for Social Sciences by the British Association for the Advancement of Science for being one of the UK’s “outstanding scientific communicators”. His awards also include the 2006 Excellence in the Teaching of Psychology Award by the British Psychological Society and the British Psychological Society Fellowship Award for “exceptional contributions to psychology”.

Posted on June 17, 2016, in Case Studies, Obsession, Paraphilia, Psychology, Sex, Sex addiction and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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